Kingdom Come 2: Hilarious Tales of Mayhem

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Collection of Side Quests

Every playthrough of Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 is a unique comedic masterpiece, thanks to its brutal realism, unforgiving medieval setting, and the sheer absurdity that unfolds constantly. Below are some of the most unexpectedly funny side quests I've encountered while exploring Bohemia. These tales avoid main storyline spoilers, focusing solely on the game's unpredictable charm.

Table of Contents:

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

The quaint town of Želejov, boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two indolent troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their ambition, however, is hampered by a lack of funds, an instrument, and any discernible artistic vision.

Image: ensigame.com

Henry, eager to assist, undertakes a series of increasingly ridiculous tasks. He steals a lute (damaging his reputation), only for the bards to break the strings and demand replacements made from sheep intestines. Further errands – settling debts, hauling sacks – finally equip the duo. Their reward? A soul-crushingly boring song about Henry's menial tasks. The locals cringe, and I laughed uncontrollably.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Those lute strings? Crafted by the inebriated hunter, Vojtěch, who, after a wolf encounter, found himself perched precariously in a tree. The quest involves rescuing him, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. However, I chose to fulfill his actual desire: delivering him to the nearest tavern.

Image: ensigame.com

Carrying the disgruntled Vojtěch through forests and swamps, I delivered him to his desired destination, only to be met with a torrent of abuse. He refused further assistance and limped off. Our next encounter? A grudging offer of a scenic view behind his shack.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

Image: ensigame.com

The Polovtsians, responsible for devastating Henry's hometown, were found causing a ruckus in a tavern. My initial rage quickly dissipated as I discovered their surprisingly sociable nature. Soon, I was matchmaking, drinking, and even singing with them. Then, a philosophical dog interrupted, challenging me to a swim across a lake. I survived, laughing hysterically.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

Image: ensigame.com

After mastering stealth, a single botched heist turned me into Bohemia's most wanted. A seemingly insignificant detail – failing to remove incriminating accessories – led to my near arrest. The game's attention to detail is astonishing.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

Image: ensigame.com

A stolen horse, a sleeping gypsy horse trader, and a runaway steed created a hilarious, dawn-delayed transaction. Even minor actions have unexpected, comical consequences.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Image: ensigame.com

These are just a few examples of the game's unique charm. Every decision, no matter how small, creates unpredictable and memorable moments. The commitment to realism and immersion makes each playthrough a truly unforgettable experience. Bohemia awaits!